Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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