the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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