You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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