i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
