Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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