I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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