Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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