it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So vagazzling was a success
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
