small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
