I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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