just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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