really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
