420 ftw
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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