The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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