We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
