i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
