The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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