We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
