I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
tell me about the eggs
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