I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
