This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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