no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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