I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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