Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
