we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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