Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
