i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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