If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
