I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
