i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
