he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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