Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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