You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
