I think my vagina is haunted
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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