Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
