Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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