i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
