somebody snuck up and got me drunk
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
