I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
