You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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