My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The adults are the big ones right?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
