I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize