dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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