The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
