My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
