i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
