i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
