Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
