yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
