im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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