2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
